Super Mario Nightmares

As a young kid I played a lot of Mario Bros on Super Nintendo. One time I came down with this illness that gave me fevers night after night. A temperature starts causing brain damage at 107.6 degrees. My mom tells me my brain matter stewed between 105 and 106.

I lay delirious in my parents’ bed. My PJs were sweat-matted to my scrawny frame. I started hallucinating. I still remember. Clear as they were in the games, I saw Mario, Luigi, Toad, Bowser, Chomp, and those horrifying Boos.

They shifted in the shadowy corners of the room, leering at me, engaged in some sick ritual dance with my subconscious. My brain fried. My child’s mind mistook the fever for death throes and must’ve conjured these characters in an attempt to ease the process. It didn’t work. My mom tells me I screamed at them to get away. I learned young that almost anything can become sinister given the right circumstances. Even friggin’ Toad!

Anyway… I might’ve died from a heart attack if my hallucinated Mario looked like this.

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The Creepy Mario! 😱

A post shared by Andrew Fitzgerald (@andrewfitzgeralds) on Jun 21, 2018 at 6:00am PDT

Salad Fingers Explained: 30 Mind-Blowing Minutes of Horror

You remember Salad Fingers from the early 2000s?

This ten-part series of Youtube videos by creator David Firth disturbed us all back in the day. Whether it was the sickly green series character talking to finger puppets, orgasming while rubbing rust, or lactating through a swollen nipple, these videos fueled the nightmares of plenty of kids as friends dared each other to watch them alone in the dark.

What I didn’t realize–I was an 8th grader at the time–was that Salad Fingers creator David Firth was actually a horror genius and that the show was rife with deep meaning.

What if I told you that Salad Fingers was a shell-shocked World War One veteran with a mixed-race lineage that got him abandoned by his parents and that he now suffers from schizophrenic delusions while trapped in his own mind as he comes to terms with his life?

I know. Holy shit, right? I thought it was just a few creepy scares from when I was a kid.

Two videos explain this Salad Fingers theory.

The Youtube Channel The Film Theorists covers every mind-blowing detail in the two videos I’ll put below. It’ll take about half an hour. But trust me, it’s worth every minute.

 

I know, Salad Fingers Explained, is a bit overwhelming.

After you gather your thoughts, leave me a comment about what you think.